Tonight has to be one of the hardest nights of my mommy life. What made it even worse is that the hubby is in Cali for a business trip.

Ella was talking to me about school and then went on and on about how she's the only one who isn't in Spanish or Math class. At her pre-school you have to pay extra for those special sessions and we decided that we weren't going to do that. Anyway, her girl BFF is in Spanish and Ella wants to be with her. BAD. Apparently to Ella that one day a week where girl BFF is in Spanish class for 20 minutes is too much to bear and Ella's finally doing something about it. "But I want to be with (girl BFF) in Spanish and dance class!"

My heart sank. Shit...how am I going to respond to this?

It's not just a question of her wanting something just because girl BFF gets it. Oh, no...It's that girl BFF is moving to a private school at the end of the month and well, I keep putting off telling Ella.

I attempt to tell her that she can't always do what her friends are doing, that Daddy & I decided that we want her to be a kid and play as much as possible and not sign her up for a million things, and all that jazz. It didn't work.

And I didn't know what to do. I was pushed in a corner and well, I told Ella her "very bestest best best friend" was moving to a new school.

People, she lost it. She broke down and cried as if I told her, well that her best friend was leaving her. Ella went on and on about how her and girl BFF sing Laurie Berknew together, dance together, play together...She cried and cried and well, if you know me, I cried. That helped actually because she then took time to wipe my tears. THAT is how much Ella cares about other people. She's in the middle of a heart break and she stops, composes herself, to take care of me.

We talked a long time, way past her bed time about how boy BFF would still be at pre-school, that girl BFF's new school starts at pre-school, while Ella's new schools will start at kindergarten. Ella was totally prepared to be split up once she turned 5. All week she's been foretelling that..."I'm almost 5 and then I'll have to go to a new school!" She was not prepared for this happening at 4.

After she finally went to bed, I called girl BFF's parents to warn them. I had no idea where they were in telling HER that she'd be leaving for a new school.

Our plan is to take girl BFF to a movie to celebrate her moving to a new school, keep in touch, and do play dates as much as possible. Last year she lost a girl BFF, but it didn't register like this. Don't know if it's because she's older, because this girl BFF means more, or what. Ella & girl BFF have been together since they were about 18 months old.

We have about 3 weeks to go and I have a feeling it's gonna be drama to the nth degree.

HELP! I seriously don't know how to handle this. I never moved as a kid or changed schools losing friends. Sure, I've lost friends, but it was due to mostly drifting apart. A few friends moved when I was young, but never where I felt like my heart was breaking. At least that I can recall. Well there was the time when Brandon left for San Diego and I couldn't express in words how much I was going to miss him even if we don't hang out as much as I wish we did. But I'll chalk that up to being wickedly pregnant as well.

Oh, I'm in trouble! And I know now that I didn't have to tell Ella about girl BFF now...but I think it was inevitable. Now or three weeks.

Labels: Ella