I grew up in the 'burbs pretty carefree. The hubby, OTOH, grew up in the 'burbs, but more aware that danger lurks everywhere. When we moved to the big bad city aka Chicago, he had a million rules on where I should go and why. 99% of them were true and made total sense. After almost 15 years here, I'm more aware of the dangers that lurk and I try to play things smart. Of course that stubborn part of me still thinks "FU" to danger and if I want to walk alone at 2 am, gosh darn it, I will! One example, the first 2 years we lived here, I carried mace with me. Then I figured, what the hell? F...it.

Kate wrote a brilliant and beautiful piece on "Living while Female" drawing together the kidnapping & murder of Kelsey Smith, the murder of Dua Khalil, and the De Anza gang rape case. Read it. It really should be in the NYTimes (hint, hint, Ms. K.).

Back to the hubby. We were watching The Early Show report on authorities finding her body and the arrest of a suspect. I then looked at the hubby and said, "This is why I park at the TOP of the Target parking garage. For my safety." That light bulb went off, he nodded, and looked at me, "Wow...I never thought if it that way." Just as I was saying, "Because you're a boy." He replied, "Because I'm not a woman!" He kept yeah, yeah-ing & nodding for a few minutes allowing for all of this to settle into his head.

See, he doesn't like to park at the top because people drive a little crazy on the way down and he's afraid of the car getting hit and us getting hurt. When I go alone, I park at the top so I can be out in the open and where 80% of the people park. Why? Because I do fear that someone will pull me into a car after I just bought myself some new shoes & tampons. Why should I fear that each time I go to the store? Why!?!

The good thing is that I think he finally gets it that I am aware of danger and that my ppft'ing of danger is sometimes a reaction of me drowning in danger. Does that make sense?

The hubby's such a sweet guy and really is all about keeping his girls safe. It's a bit overwhelming at times, but I know it's just because he loves me so much and couldn't live with himself if I got hurt the one night he was too tired to come pick me up from some meeting. Oh, Ella, you have no idea what you have in store! And I'm sure she'll push his limits as well. Anyone want to take me in while she's going thru that stage?

Labels: Ella, family, feminism, misc