Last week, MotherTalk hosted a blog tour for a book about parenting and religion. The book, Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Caring, Ethical Kids Without Religion, takes the side of those parents who want to raise their children in a secular vein, without religion. We think the publication of this book gives us a chance to blog about religion and our families and the ways we parent, from a variety of angles.

This Friday, May 25th, we thought we'd invite everyone to blog about religion: what we do; what we don't; what our kids like, or don't; what we argue about; what we feel great about, or guilty of... the list goes on and on and the sky's the limit, bonanzas are all about conversation.

I'm in a mixed marriage. I'm a tree-loving, goddess-worshiping pagan. The hubby is a true Catholic. He likes to label himself that because as far as he's concerned he pretty much lives by what the Bible says, what Jesus would REALLY do, and not so much what TPTB rant about. I'm also a recovering Catholic, so you might really categorize me as a pagan Catholic. I identify a lot with the ethnic part of Catholicism; the way native Mexicans merged their pagan religion with Catholicism.

What we do is celebrate Christmas & Solstice and Easter & Ostara, althou I have to admit to being a lazy pagan and not really getting my butt in gear to do a ritual on any holiday. I personally celebrate Halloween and Samhain. I do believe that this year I will bring Ella into my celebration and get in gear with a real ritual for Samhain. (Yes, long-time readers more angst about my late mother!) I wear a goddess around my neck, the hubby wears a cross. The hubby prays each morning and evening and crosses Ella before we leave her somewhere. He's even teaching her how to cross herself. I rub my goddess when I need a little more strength or peace.

Tonight Ella went on and on about how if I die, she'd have to get a new mommy. Oy...Just what I need. I did talk about heaven. I do believe in a heaven/summerland, where we all go, except the most evil, when we die. (If the Catholics are right, save me a place in Hell, k?) But I phrased it as, "Most people believe..." Hopefully as she grows and keeps hearing that phrase, she'll understand that we want her to find her own path.

We don't go to church. The last time either of us went to a church without a wedding or funeral happening was me. Shocked, eh? Being a pagan can be lonely. So I tried out a UU church nearby. It was nice, but I dunno...Maybe later. And honestly I'm too busy to find a coven to really get involved with. Yeah, I know...Don't ask. I'm just confusing like that.

The only thing I feel guilty about is that Ella doesn't have official godparents. Having those seemed to be comforting to me as a kid. Maybe when she's a tad older and can understand what it means, we'll figure out some type of ceremony we can do in the backyard or at a UU church. The two couples who would be her godparents already know who they are. We told them as much around Ella's birth. (Reminder...get that damn will done!)

I hope that this this and that way of infusing religion into Ella's life keeps going as well as it has been. She's just shy of 4, so we have a long way to go. I do wonder what it'll be like when her friends start asking about it. Then again her best friends are one Jewish boy and one half-Jewish, half-some type of Christian girl (the dad doesn't talk about it). So being half-pagan and half-Catholic won't be too weird. Being my daughter will be tough enough!

All that said, I do fear how I'll be able to teach Ella to respect religion when fundamentalism runs rampant in this world. From fundie Christians in this country telling us who we can love and when I can reproduce to fundie Muslims in Iraq stoning girls to death just for falling in love with someone outside her faith. I guess we'll just borrow from the Catholics and hate the follower, love the faith. Or something like that.

Which brings me to our only big argument about religion - Catholic school. Living in Chicago, it's tough to find a good public school and with all this BS-"School Choice" it's almost impossible. Which forces us to look at private, independent, and *gulp* religious schools. Catholic schools are out. Period. No discussion. OK, maybe a little. But the hubby has to do the research and present the case. I can't give money to an institution that continues to lie and cover up about child rape and then call me out for being pro-choice. And that's just the beginning.

I think the best thing for her is to be exposed to as many different faiths as possible so she can choose or build her own path.

Labels: blogging, Books, Ella, family, feminism, goddess, writing