What a day.

I got up at 6:30 am to get ready for the Y-ME 3 mile walk. A friend, D, asked me to do this with her. She had been doing it for years and asked me a few weeks ago. It took me some time to say yes because it's a Mother's Day thing, but with the hubby, Cinnamon, and Amy poking at me to get my @$$ in gear, I decided to do it. It's all about making MDay mine & celebrating my motherhood.

It was amazing. So many families were out there. Seriously from itty bitty babies to a couple who looked like they were someone's great-grandparents. Men in hot pink boas. Dogs in pale pink bandannas. Since it was a last minute decision, I didn't raise any money and thus didn't get the official t-shirt. Instead I wore my CODEPink hot pink tee. Hey, it's still pink!

The walk itself was good. I could feel it in my hips just before the finish. I haven't been on my workout routine for about a week, so I was rusty.

D was pretty inspired by all the homemade & custom t-shirts and declared that we would do this again next year, bring the hubbies & the kids, and really raise money.

So that's what we're gonna do. I have no idea what our team will be called, but don't fear, you'll know it when it's time to ante up those donations.

For those who aren't familiar, Y-ME...The mission of Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization is to ensure, through information, empowerment and peer support, that no one faces breast cancer alone. The Y-ME walk/run started here in Chicago, so woot for us!

Afterwards we met the rest of the family for breakfast and while 2 hungry & tired preschoolers didn't make it a totally peaceful meal, it was still great.

When we got home, Ella & I took a nice nap. It was very nice.

I awoke to find my phone flashing. I knew what it meant. Amy's dad had passed away.

I can't find any words to express what I'm feeling for Amy. I know there isn't anything I can say to make her pain go away. The only solace she has is that he lived a great life, was loved by many, and was ill. He is in a better place. Even if there isn't anything out there after we die, going from late-stage Alzheimer's to nothing must be better.

And of course that brings me back to my mom.

Since we're Mexican, the hubby lit a candle. We have a St. Jude candle for days like today. It helps that when I took a few minutes to talk to Ella about it, I was able to talk about my grandma and the hubby's grandma who are also in heaven. Five more days until it's just about Mom.

She's been asking the hubby questions. She's a smart cookie and wants to know why I'm so sad some days. *sigh* While everyone else poking at me was really pushing me, knowing that Ella is seriously curious has kicked started me. I have no idea what to really do except what everyone has suggested. Just talk about her. Mention her. Talk about what I use to do with her. I'm trying. I really am.

Some days when I feel that I don't have the strength to do it, I know I must. I know I can. And part of that is because of you all who read this and even those of you who don't comment. Thankfully you keep coming back even thou I'm such a basket case some days. So thanks.

Labels: Ella, family