This whole brouhaha around Shani Davis has made me reflect on my upbringing. Specifically the whole "be a good girl" mantra of my childhood.

Being of Mexican descent, I've always felt that I'm forgotten in the race wars. It's Black versus white with the Asians sitting pretty and us Latinos ignored. On one hand it's nice to be forgotten esp when the face of poverty is black. I can look at it and think, at least it's not me! But really that's just being in denial. It was me.

Then I recall how much assimilation was a part of my upbringing.

To be a good girl, I needed to have a firm grasp on English. While never spoken, the idea having an accent was not in the plan. One might characterize this as using the master's tools, but at what cost? Well the cost is that I'm 31 and hopefully by the time Ella's 5 she will best me in Spanish skills. That I'm discovering, not rediscovering, my Mexican heritage in an effort to teach Ella about our heritage.

Looking at Shani Davis, I see a different upbringing. One that embraces Black heritage as well as never forgets the wrongs that our society and government did to our Black sisters & brothers. Having that sense of foreboding is not something that I was raised with. We were raised with a sense of awe and jealousy over what "the man" has and the belief that if we just worked hard enough, we could have it too.

While I've met my fair share of "angry Latinos", it's not even close to the number of "angry black men" that I've run into. Is that because we're raised to be good latinos? Are we not angry enough? Are blacks too angry? Yes. No. Maybe. Depends. I have no idea.

I first started to ponder all of this when the hubby was arguing that he thought Shani was being unsportsmanlike. IOW, he wasn't playing by the rules. And for him and myself, we were taught to play by the rules. No matter what. As children of poor, semi-educated, Mexicans, we could never venture outside the rules for fear of backlash and being forced out of the game. Not to mention the fear of looking like "one of those stupid Mexicans." But there have been plenty of times where it might had been better for us to say 'fuck it' or 'fuck you' to the rules. And maybe that's just what Shani is doing.

Reports seems to indicate that he's gotten zero support from him "teammates" so why should he support them when they need him? Once you realize that "the team" only wants you when they need you, what's the incentive to play by the rules and be the good teammate? There just isn't.

And that kind of thinking goes against almost every inch of my being. It goes against all the rules that make up the good Latina in me.

Labels: latina