2 more down

Magnet school B is out due to the fact that their pre-school starts at 4. So Ella's too young. Then the actual class is so tiny, that we'd end up spending a fortune on other daycare. Oy...but I did get to talk to a family as they were walking away from the school. The woman said that her niece goes there and the family is very happy with it. She gave it a great big thumbs up. So we'll revisit the school when it's time for kindergarten.

Public school with tuition is out. It was very hard for me to come to this decision, but for the hubby it was easy. We just didn't feel right in the school. I didn't want to make a decision about a school based on the tour guide, but since the tour guide made it clear she was a key figure in the school, it sealed the deal.

Keeping up?

We're down to staying in our current situation with daycare. They do have a pre-school that goes up to 5, so Ella can stay there until kindergarten. Then we also have private school A (PSA) which is near home. We still have to attend an open house for them, but we did submit our application. For that reason we'll see this one to the end.

The philosophical issue I have with PSA is that it is *THE* type of school I wish I had attended. But is it the best place for Ella?

I sincerely do not want to create a clone of myself. The fact that she looks like me hinders that goal somewhat, but let's focus on her mind.

I don't plan on bringing her to rallies and protests anymore. She's only 2 (29 months), but she's a sharp one. She's constantly questioning things including why we are at places. She expects certain things. We went to a local craft fair a few weekends ago and she asked me, "Where's Cinnamon?" because she's so use to going to see Cinnamon at shows. She's gotten to the age where I don't want her exposed to the anti's and I don't want to make her look like my brainwashed daughter either.

Slowly I'll start to tell her why Mommy goes to so many "meetings" (that's what we call almost everything I attend) and why it is important that Mommy goes. If she expresses interest in attending with me, I'll give her groundrules on her behavior and test why she wants to go. If it's just to be with me, I might make her ask a few times before actually bringing her. Of course, if she gets to the age where she can clearly tell me that she wants to go because she believes in it, then she's in.

I want to raise her to share the same beliefs as me, but I don't want to brainwash her either. So I'm going to take it bit slower than I think most people will expect of me.

So this brings me back to pre-schools. Do I put her into a granola school because I would have wanted it? Or do I put her there because I think it'll be a great supportive environment? Maybe a little of both. The hubby clearly said that he doesn't think he could have handled that school, but thinks it would be good for Ella. Of course, this is a moot debate if the school doesn't accept us or we go to the open house and find another snotty tour guide.

We'll just have to see what the new year brings us.

Whose needs?

After seeing three pre-schools, I have come to the conclusion that I'm confused. Very confused. And here is what I am confused about. Whose needs am I looking to meet?

Are they mine? Am I looking for schools where Ella will have all the things that I wish I had grown up with? Ballet, ceramics, fiber arts, Spanish, and award winning teachers?

Or am I looking for things that I know that Ella should have?

Are those the same thing?

Then I'm posed with the issue of class and elitism. From K-6, I went to a school full of working-class and below kids. All of our families were pretty much the same. Mom and Dad worked hard just to put food on the table. But we all knew around 4th grade that we were destined to go to middle & high school with kids from upper class families.

Once there, the line between the haves and have-nots was pretty clear. The only mushy area were the kids from the (then) firmly middle-class suburb next door. They were richer than us, but not quite as rich as the kids from the hometown of the school. Then in the honors classes, it was almost all not kids I had grown up with. My homies and I were in such small number that we soon were spread so thin that it left us almost on our own in class. And thus, my circle of friends changed dramatically from 8th grade to 9th grade. So much so that one girl who was a great friend in 8th grade called me a whore in 9th grade.

But the issues that make me second guess putting Ella into a school where she'd be firmly middle class to a larger upper class community is access. What is the use of putting her into a school where she can do ballet on Monday, ceramics on Tuesday, Model UN on Wednesday, and so forth if we can't afford to pay for it all? And that's exactly what happened to me in high school.

I had the brains and, if I wanted, the time to do all sorts of other things. But I didn't because we couldn't afford it. As much as I was a color guard geek, I didn't make it to camp because even with a scholarship, I couldn't afford it. And I was too proud to admit it. Model UN? Dropped out as soon as I learned the bill. And I feel that there was a friend or 3 who didn't invite me to vacations or concerts because they knew or assumed that I couldn't afford it. Of course, that might just be my working-class paranoia at work too.

But do we put Ella into a situation where she can taste the frosting, but can never eat the cake? But at the same time can still get a wonderful education?

That's the question I need to answer for myself before we can make a decision for Ella. Not to mention that one school just reeks of snobs. *shudder*

I should add that I know that we'll be able to afford some programs where ever Ella ends up. But most certainly not all of them. Goodness, I think I've over thinking.

PSB is out

We have decided to pull private school B out of the running for Ella's pre-school mania. Why?

For one, they don't have any outside play area. The idea of the kids walking someone in a fairly busy part of the city doesn't excite us. The idea of the kids being inside all day is maddening.

Plus when we were there, we didn't get "that feeling" to explore or stay and chat.

On the other hand, we visited PSA over the weekend and I almost had to pull us out of there. The school is great and the people in it were pretty nice. We try to keep to ourselves at public events as to sit back and take it all in. Ella loved the place and all the kids.

I do have a philosophical question about the school. But I'll have to blog about that one later.

Now we're down to PSA, MSB, and PST. And of course, staying at daycare to do pre-school. A notion that is quickly becoming the #1 choice.

One down...3 to go

Yesterday I turned in the first of Ella's applications to private school A (PSA). And I did it in person, so I got to peek at the school for a second. It looks nice.

But as the hubby & I were working on our essays for Ella's application, we kept stopping and questioning the whole process. It just doesn't feel right to get into pre-school this way. She'll be in pre-school next year. The way our daycare moves the kids up, she might be in pre-school by spring time too! But do we really want to pull out the stops for pre-school when a very good option is already available?

We don't know, so we are going to just keep going forward.