( 5/25/2004 10:15:52 AM )
FAQ - Daycare Options in Chicago
When I hear someone is pregnant I immediately ask them to start thinking about day care options. I try not to be pushy about other things, but daycare is something that must be addressed and as early as possible. The amount of daycare options for newborns in the city is horrid. Whether you are going with a nanny or a large center, start your hunt early.
Action for Children (formally Day Care Action Council) is a pretty good resource to start your hunt. If you qualify, they can give you a listing for free of licensed day cares & nannies in any area of the city. If you don't qualify, they ask for a small fee. When I called a year ago, it was $30. We passed on it, but a few friends have done it and been fairly pleased. Be warned: It is just a listing, they are not recommendations or anything like that. You need to call and invesitate them.
When looking at a daycare center, I say first & foremost, go with your gut. We visited one that didn't sit well with us. I won't say which thou - I have a friend who does us it and loves them. But the day we visited, it looked messy and well, just didn't give us a good feeling. Even thou it was closer to the house and a few bux cheaper, we went with another place.
Things to think about:
1) Close to home or work? We chose in the middle. We wanted Ella to be close at hand in an emergency, but also close to home for the end of the day drive. Now that I changed jobs, she's across the street from me and I love it. I have friends who live in the burbs and have their child care out there and sometimes comment on being so far away from their child. Then again, if we lived in the burbs, I doubt I'd lug Ella in the city every morning.
2) How friendly is the staff? Remember, they are the ones who will be caring for your baby. If they don't seem friendly when you meet them, will you really trust them?
3) Full-time vs. Part-time? Unfortunately, there are not a lot of part-time daycare options. And when you do find some, there is not a lot of money difference. I work full-time, so there was no decision for us.
we used Babycenter.com for a lot of our questions.
We did consider the nanny option for all about 5 seconds. The cost was just too high for us after you add in a living wage, good benefits, and taxes. The feminist in me just couldn't offer anything less than $10 a hour (average wage) plus full benefits and of course, paying social security taxes.
Frustrated with daycare? You're not alone. The Family Intiative is just what you may need. They can't offer you help, but they can offer you an outlet for action.
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( 5/25/2004 09:58:13 AM )
FAQs
I don't assume that I'm the only Chicago blogging mama, but I feel like I get my fair share of mama-related questions emailed to me. So I figure that instead of keeping the advise & my mama-knowledge (as small as that may be) just between a few of us, I'd share it.
On the sidebar there is now a FAQ section. It'll cover some of the questions that I've been asked the most or the most recently (Hi Marie!). So if you've been reading and pondering asking a question, come on and ask! I may not have the answer, but I might be able to help. Or at least let you know that 1) you are not crazy, 2) you are not alone, and 3) the crying does stop - at least that's what I'm told.
Email: prochoiceweb(at)hotmail(dot)com
( 5/14/2004 10:10:29 AM )
Connections
Juliet commented about how on Mother's Day she was thinking that the egg that produced Paula was produced while Juliet was in her mom's womb. I often find myself giggling at the thought of Ella's lil womb. That one day, maybe, my grandbabies will spring from there. It's just too funny. But I have never thought backwards.
It's comforting to think backwards. That in a sense, the three of us were all together, in one body for a few moments in time. Kinda like those Russian dolls. Sorry, had to crack a joke to fight back the emotions.
Miss Ella's breaking in a new tooth. She has two bottom teeth already, but
her right upper vampire tooth is coming in. Won't that be just too funny to
see? And to think I did consider naming her Drusilla for a moment. haha!
( 5/9/2004 10:01:36 PM )
The First
Today was my first mother's day. Thanks for the messages everyone. Even when I woke up this morning I didn't know what I wanted from this day.
I've been trying to figure it out for weeks. Each day that went by, the weight of the day was killing me. How does one celebrate when all one wants to do is cry?
My first mother's day is not only the first with Ella but my first without my own mom.
So for weeks I've been telling the hubby he doesn't need to get me anything. My heart was telling me that I didn't want to acknowledge the day. I didn't want to celebrate. But reality was setting in.
My dad called to ask me what I wanted (he sent a card with a gift card). I knew my younger sister would get me something (she did). Others in my life told me "happy mother's day" over the past week. Some of them knew about my mom, others have no idea.
I poured out my feelings on paper a few days ago. Brandon pointed out a fab quote by Margaret Atwood a few days ago. The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read. That's just a part of the quote. But I read it just days after writing my feelings down. How true it is. I wrote things that I can't say aloud. I didn't write them hear because of the idea that someone might read it.
In an effort to attempt to acknowledge my feelings today, I went to my grandmother's grave. I brought her flowers. I sat Miss Ella down next to me, the hubby was nearby, and cried. Not the full on cry I might have allowed myself to do if I was alone. But I cried. No one spoke of my mother, but we both knew that's who I was really crying for. Not that I don't still miss my grandmother, but she was old. She had lived a good long life.
The 18th will mark one year without the woman I called Mom. One year without my compass. I didn't always follow the direction she set out for me, but at least I knew where I was going. Just because you know which was is north doesn't mean you always go that way. I still feel lost without her. I still feel like I'm barely keeping up with life. Yet, I think today is the harder of the two days. May 18th will come & go. It's a day. Her deathday. The hubby will light a candle, we'll remember her in silence. Today. Gawd today should had been a celebration. Instead we passed thru it with as little fanfare as possible. It was still a good day, but not the way that I had thought it would had been just a year ago.
The hubby said that he knows a lot of people have asked him about me. Not my personal friends, but he figures that if they are worried others are as well. So in case you happened to think in that direction, thanks. I'm here. I'm not fine, but I am here. I don't know where I get my strength, but I'll go on. Not because of Ella, but because I want to go on. Even if it's just to prove to my mom that I can.
( 5/7/2004 10:22:01 AM )
Miss Ella helps out
This morning Miss Ella arrived at daycare to find a classmate in tears. She rushed over to her and decided that the mechanical swing was no doing it's job. Instead she will push her friend on the swing. Now picture a 9-month-old girl pushing from the front of a swing a 5-month-old girl. Amazingly, the classmate stopped crying and was comforted by Miss Ella.
I use to worry that it might be tough to teach her to be loving towards others, to know that sometimes we need to help others out, and all that mushy stuff. Instead, I think she sprang from me knowing that. Maybe all the stress I was under last year somehow made her know that she needed to be a comforting force in not only my life, but life in general. Maybe I'm stretching.
Either way, this lil grrl loves others. She rarely cries when others are crying, instead she gets a look of worry and in her own way trys to comfort them. I can't be a prouder momma.
( 5/5/2004 10:55:16 AM )
MOB - follow up
In my frenzy to find other liberal feminist mamas, I jumped on the MOB bandwagon. I emailed it to friends. I blogged about it. Then another feminist mama emailed me...
They don't take a stand on abortion, Roni. What's up with that?
So began the follow-up on MOB. And here's the 411 I promised you all. Here's a snippet from the email response I got back:
The MOB's does not take a position on reproductive rights... Our belief that the Bush administration is dangerous for our families lies in their policies around the deficit, the war in Iraq, healthcare, education and the environment among others.
I guess that means that choice & reproductive health fall under others and/or healthcare. So I asked them if that meant if I hosted a MOB event I couldn't talk about choice and I essentially got a yup. It was vague, but if press were involved, not to talk about choice.
That sealed it. They are focused more on getting as many mothers as possible and they are willing to cut choice out of their policy picture. Ironic isn't it? The very policy that allows us all to choose when & if to have a child is muzzled by a mother's organization.
I dunno if I can go along with that. Today is the MOB Lunch for Change. I've been pondering attending for a week. Should I go and raise hell? Should I go just to see who else goes? I'm using the excuse that I don't work in the Loop to not go. Seriously, it takes a lot for me to head into the Loop right now. I'm not sold on this group either. Maybe if they had something in the evening or on a weekend, then I might peek in.
I still think their goal is my goal - to get Bush out of office. I'll still be an email member of MOB. This is tough one folks.
