( 11:39 AM )
I haven't mentioned it, but Paris has had one hell of a case of hiccups lately. I wonder what triggers it, but sometimes it goes for hours. Poor lil baby. I haven't gotten hiccups, but Paris just gets them for no reason or soon after I eat. I'm thinking that it's getting to crowded down there for Paris and so, why not? Let's do hiccups! So now I have a rhythmic bounce to my left side.
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( 10:41 AM )
Today's the last day folks! Tonight the Paris birthday pool officially closes for entries. After that, we just have to sit back and wait for Paris to show its pretty lil face to the world.
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( 12:27 PM )
I have to keep remembering that our birthing instructor use to get happy when S* got pissy. She said that the closer we get to giving birth, the more pissy we'd get. Well, if that's the truth, then Paris is coming any moment.
I saw it with my partner at work. She was tearing students' heads off left and right the last few weeks. And I'd have to say she's the sweetest thing next to cupcake frosting.
So where am I? I'm going from Roni to uber-bitch in .000001 seconds.
Some days I can see it being totally my fault, then some it's totally someone else's fault (hubby, student, person driving). But on some days, like today, I really feel like the hubby is just asking for it. He's got a very weird sense of humor...and well, it takes a lot to really get it. I get it. I love it. Most of the time. His problem is that he just can't the fact that right now, I'm THISCLOSE to boiling over, 24/7. argh...
I also fear what I'll be like once Paris is out. If I'm this emotional now...gawd, I fear what I'll be like afterwards. Just a fair warning to the blog world.
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( 10:12 AM )
Tonight is the night. We're finally going to wash all of the baby clothes we have so when Paris arrives it has something to wear. We really didn't think we had a lot of clothes, but we've got 2 baskets worth of clothes. Sure, one of them is a small one that I bought for Paris' room, but still TWO baskets? At least we'll be smiling all the way thru laundry. The stuff is just too cute!
For the first time, I forgot my blood sugar kit at home. I swore that I put it in my bag. Oh, well...not much I can do now, outside of drive home, but really...I don't think I need to do that. *shrug*
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( 2:27 PM )
I've finally gotten my butt in gear and scheduled a Mother Blessing for July. It's going to be very pagan in nature, but not too pagan to freak out the non-pagans. I'm piecing it together from a great article in the Spring 2003 issue of "Circle Magazine" as well as any other things I can find on the internet.
I know I have a few pagan mamas who read this site. So if you had one and have a few pointers, feel free to leave them in the comments! I'd like to email the ritual/ceremony out to my girlfriends about 2 weeks before the event, so I've got my thinking cap on. I do know that I'd like my hair to be brushed, possibly braided with flowers or brushed and I get to wear a lil crown of flowers, as well as making a small 'medicine bag' of charms & trinkets.
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( 9:59 AM )
So what's so hard to comprehend from this statement:
We picked out the crib theme at Target. It's the Winnie the Pooh theme.
What's hard is when your MIL decides that it's not what *she* likes and goes and buys the Classic Pooh theme at Babies-R-Us. She even mentions that she thought about the Del Mar (dolphin) set, but decided that the Classic Pooh looked better.
EXCUSE ME? First, the hubby changed the theme by buying the Target Pooh stickers AFTER I picked the Del Mar theme. Then after much thought and my usual martyrdom, I decide that yeah, the WTP theme would look better. 1) The room is already packed with WTPs and 2) The Del Mar might be too dark for a very light colored room. Then my MIL decides on her own to switch? Fuck me. I tried to smile as she handed it to us on Friday night, but the hubby saw right thru it. So he swallowed hard, only after I explained it to him, and he called his mom back and told her firmly that *we* picked out another theme and that said theme was on the Target registry AND that it already matched the wall stickers AND the border we put up. I could tell she was having trouble believing that we'd want the cheaper Target theme and not the one that GRANDMA bought for the baby. *siiiigh*
She had brought the stuff over on Friday night when the in-laws dropped off the nephew for a sleep-over. By Saturday when she picked him up, she had bought almost the entire theme set from Target and took the other set home. We put the theme up right away, so she can see it and I was so happy to have it. You know what? It looks fucking fab. Even she said to the hubby that it really did match.
As for the nephew, we had him over 'cause this Friday is his birthday and we haven't spent a lot of time with him over the past few months. At times he's even seemed quite jealous of the baby. Understandable, so we thought we'd shower him with love for a day. We took him to see the new shark exhibit at the Shedd. It was a nice exhibit. Of course, I'm a freak for marine stuff, so I loved it. Only problem is that the lighting in the shark area sucked big time for pictures. I kept taking and deleting pictures. The nephew was adament that I get a BIG picture of a shark for him. He basically wanted me to take a picture of a shark real close and from the front (much like on the Shedd site). We laughed and explained to him the fact that the light wasn't good and bought him a postcard. He's too cute!
Well all day he kept patting my belly and talking to the baby. He even pretended to feed the baby some food. He's so excited about this baby. We think he's jealousy isn't really jealousy, but more of him trying to figure out where he's gonna fit in terms of being a big boy, the baby, or what. I feel better thou, I just didn't want him to be so jealous that he'd be mad at us.
So overall, good weekend. A little sketchy on the in-laws, but overall a thumbs up. It's just too bad that the boys were too tired from the Shedd to venture over to see the Chicago Force kick some ass in their playoff win.
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( 3:06 PM )
This morning was a midwife appointment. For those of you worrying about my weight loss, you can stop worrying! I gained 3 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I'm sure it's all going to Paris. I also measured 35 weeks and I'll be 35 weeks on Monday, so Paris has stopped trying to get here so damn early. Yeah!
I also took a quick tour of the birthing area at the hospital. Looks nice & comfy. It was kinda weird to be up there with people who might have known Mom. So when the education director asked my name, I only offered up my first name. I just didn't want to go there today.
So another appointment under my belt and more thumbs up!
Last night a few girlfriends gave me a big bag of baby stuff. It was so nice! Diapers, baby-cream-of-wheat, a toy, and a few baby clothes. Then I stopped at the post office today to pick up a huge package from my aunt in Seattle. She said she was just sending a few crib sheets - she sent a lot of stuff! Crib sheets, baby clothes, blankets, and something else I can't recall. She's too sweet. I think I may have to do some Paris laundry on Sunday. I really want to put the crib sheets on soon. See, I knew things would fall into place. Slowly...yes, but eventually we'll get all that we need. I hope.
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( 1:52 PM )
BTW - On the sidebar, there's a new link to a poll to help me figure out a name for Paris. The boy name is fairly set, but I still put our top 3 choices. The girl name is giving me a fit!
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( 11:21 AM )
The hubby's been working late this week and I think it's wearing on him that he's not at home to spend time with Paris & me. So what's he do to counter that? He reads to Paris. He knows that Paris can hear him, so he reads lil stories. Last night he pulled out an old book of mine with nursery rhymes. He read a few and then put the book down and declared, "Some of these are too graphic & too sexist!"
I chuckled inside and thought to myself, "Um, that's why I bought 3 books of feminist fairy tales!"
The way I sit up while he reads to Paris is so comfy. I fall right asleep. The hubby just keeps reading, talking, or singing. He said that Paris was really moving while I was sleeping (I'm a heavy sleeper) and that he just massaged my belly and sung in a comforting tone to calm Paris down and it worked. Gawd, I hope that works when Paris is out!
I'm starting to doubt my abilities as a mother, but each day, the hubby proves more and more that he's gonna rawk as a daddy. And that makes me feel better. Knowing that even if I doubt myself, I have a wonderful partner next to me.
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( 1:25 PM )
As Paris draws closer and closer to being born, my fears rear their ugly heads more and more. Some of them are just plain out there.
My biggest fear is that I pop a vessel in my head while pushing and I die. Right there, bam! My chance at being a mom is stolen from me, the hubby is left alone with a baby, and Paris never gets to know me. My greatest fear. Chances are, it won't happen.
My next biggest fear is that I get all loopy and devote every single moment of my life to Paris and become a stranger to the hubby. I don't want to end up being one of those mothers whose WHOLE life revolves around her child(ren). I married the hubby to have a partner in life. Not just a sperm donor. Hopefully being aware of this fear and the hubby is aware of it as well, we can avoid that trap.
I just want to keep being Roni. Is that too damn much to hope for? Roni with a beautiful child and a fab hubby. I don't expect Paris to just slide into our life like a missing piece, but I also don't want Paris to become our life. It's weird and so hard to explain.
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( 10:34 AM )
I'm now 34 weeks pregnant.
thirty-four...3...4
40 weeks - 34 weeks = only 6 more weeks
*faint*
I'm starting to get to the point where I just want this over with. But you know what? I love being pregnant. It's not great to wake up with a backache and then realize that you were just telling your mom that your back hurt in your dream...that really did just happen this morning. But outside of sleeping and the first hours of the morning, I feel pretty damn good. I'm healthier than I've been, most likely ever, and I think I look better than I have since high school.
I'm so going to miss my Paris-bulge. I just know it. I'll love having Paris on the outside to play with, nurse, and all that, but there's just something about looking down at my belly, rubbing it and knowing that inside there's a lil something growing that will turn into my child! In 6 weeks there won't be anything in my bulge but my lunch. How sad is that? One minute Paris and I are one unit and the next, Paris will be suckling, a separate being. Oh, gawd...am I just the picture of a woman headed for major post-partum or what? I'm gonna have to ask for my prozac to be started back up or something.
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( 8:54 AM )
Our first Father's Day was nice. Unfortunately I had a brunch meeting, so we didn't spend the whole day with the hubby. But afterwards, we headed out west to see the in-laws and BBQ. It was nice to spend sometime with them and with the nephew. You can tell he's getting very jealous about Paris coming soon.
This coming weekend we'll have him stay overnight and take him out for his 7th birthday. We just want to show him that he's still our lil boy. He totally learns his jealousy from his mother. She's jealous of her own son some days!
Speaking of which, I do wish that I had the courage to one day tell her off. I hate being in the same room with her because 9 out of 10 times, she ends up using the nephews dad as a threat against him. I forget what he was doing, but he was being a tad bratty. So she gets up and walks to the phone, "I'm calling your Dad. It's Father's Day so you should HAVE to spend some time with him." The nephew freaks out. I know he doesn't like his daddy, but given the fact that his daddy is used against him like that is just not right.
His dad isn't the best dad either. But neither is his mom. I do wish that the nephew's dad would sign up for a program like this. It might give him some tips on warming up to the nephew. It just breaks my heart to see my nephew in a situation like this. It makes me even more happy to know that Paris won't have to be in a situation like that.
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( 2:55 PM )
The deadline for the Paris Birthday Pool is July 1st. No more guesses after that.
Oh, and Holly, you put in a partial guess of 9 lbs 2 oz, but didn't pick a date or gender. Send it in, sweetie!
Remember there will be a prize, I dunno what yet, but there will be one. Maybe 2 weeks with Paris! hehe...
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( 2:15 PM )
Last night was our last Bradley class. It was a bittersweet night. It was fun to have a light class, eat some pizza, watch a few short movies, meet one classmate's daughter, and just have fun. But it was our last class! I'm so going to miss them all. :-(
As we were all chatting about books and stuff, our teacher said that we should all check out Hip Mama on the web. Of course, I retorted, "I read the book and loved it! And the zine. Love the website." She laughed and a few minutes later she said, " I should have already picked you as a Hip Mama." *blush*
dang...now I think I have a Hip Mama rep to uphold. First things first. I gotta subscribe to the zine!
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( 3:54 PM )
Father's Day is coming up and I've never thought of where it came from. Here's a site that gives a bit of history about Father's Day. The rest of the page isn't all that kosher with me. That Erma Bombeck story isn't her most feminist piece - I'll leave it at that. But I do find it sweet that Father's Day started not as a way to have a day for Dads just because Moms did (much like our current "father's rights" movement *gag*), but because someone had a Daddy who was both and deserved the recognition.
It's the hubby's first Father's Day and he's all ready. Dropping hints the size of Kansas about what he wants. Silly boy! Paris doesn't have any money yet. *smile* But I do already have a small gift for him. I also got my dad a Grandpa card to give to him tomorrow night before he leaves for home.
Dad always had Mom to show him how to be a good Dad. Neither had Dads to model after, so I dunno how Mom did it. But I know she MADE our Dad into the Dad he is today. In my heart, I know he will also be the Grandfather that she made him as well.
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( 9:47 AM )
Screening Pregnant Women for Diabetes May Be Unnecessary, Study Says
At first, I was like...well damn! Maybe I don't need to be on this diet. Then I got to the last line: "the screening "may serve little purpose" other than identifying an insulin problem that could have been present before pregnancy."
Considering that prenatal medical visits are often the only time women see a doctor for real testing, I'd say let's keep them in! Far too many of us, myself included, only go to the doctor when we're sick. We need a larger movement towards preventative care.
Doctors need to take the opportunity of seeing a woman on a regular basis for nine-to-ten months to get her to make more regular visits, discuss bad habits (smoking, drinking, drugs, unprotected sex), and poke around for possible domestic violence, as well as other issues. It's just too bad that the doctors can't perform the same tests (glucose, weigh-ins, etc) to the daddies-to-be, cause I bet some of them could use a little medical intervention!
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( 3:45 PM )
Friday we went to see the doctor. I usually see my midwife, but due to a midwifery convention, I had to see the doctor. No biggie, she's just as kewl as the midwives are.
It took her awhile to find Paris's heartbeat, but eventually she did. On Friday I was 32 weeks 4 days and measuring 33.5 weeks. oy! I'm now 33 weeks and althou it's technically t-minus 7 weeks, the hubby & I are telling people it's 4-6 weeks. You never know, right?
I also lost another 5 lbs. That brings me to -1 lb of my pre-Paris weight. And looking at pics of me at Christmas, I look thinner with my big Paris bump than pre-Paris bump. Weird. But I'm healthy and so is Paris, so woo-hoo!
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( 2:16 PM )
Paris is a brat.
I've decided that I want a short video of Paris doing its thing in my belly. But each time I reach for the camera, no matter how close I have it, Paris just stops. grrr...I've got such a silly lil baby in me.
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( 9:23 AM )
The joke has been all thru the pregnancy that my goal is to be a hip mama. I bought the book, read it, and really, it doesn't give one as unhip as I am, the real tools to become a hip person, much less a hip mama.
I've tried to stick to hip clothes and even bought a pair of red sporty mules from Target. I feel like a dork some days in them since they are just so red, but they're comfy and right now that's what counts.
The funny thing is that I've actually gotten compliments in the last few weeks that I look too good to be pregnant. Imagine that! Me? Look to good? HA! Silly people...
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( 2:19 PM )
You get what you ask for!
Ms. Lauren asked for it and she shall receive. On the sidebar are now links to see what I'm looking like with Paris in me. They aren't the best pics of me, but they'll do. I'm hoping to get some better ones. But then again, I never really think any are better.
The 29 weeks pic was taken just before I left for the airport on Mother's Day. The 31 weeks pic was taken just after I got back from yoga..or perhaps just before. Either way explains my outfit.
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