( 12:45 PM )
The hubby has convinced himself that I'm carrying TWINS! Sure, we've always talked about twins being really kewl and all, but now that I'm pregnant, twins? ack!
His evidence is that:
1) Twins are common in both of our families.
2) He swears he heard 2 heartbeats. Althou, the midwife didn't.
3) He thinks I'm showing more than an average 3-month pregnant lady should. I tell him I had a great headstart!
4) He's crazy.
So the next appointment is on Valentine's Day. I'll tell whoever I see (midwife is off to Costa Rica in a Spanish program) what the hubby thinks. Cause if I don't have an answer for him, he won't let up.
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( 3:17 PM )
I've finally arrived at that point where my uterus is trying to expand to make room for a growing Paris. It hurts like hell! OK, it's not a constant pain, but my range of motion for my torso is gone. If I sit up too quickly, I hurt. I have a lot of troubling staying asleep - I have to wake up a lot to readjust. Damn you Mother Nature! I think I'll be at the point where I have to sleep sitting up or propped up pretty damn soon.
In other news, my partner at work had her baby yesterday. Despite the fact that we thought it would be a boy, she's got herself a lil girl. Aww.... I can't wait to see both of them. I think I'll give her a few weeks to get adjusted and then call for a visit. I'm 14 weeks today, meaning I have exactly 6 months left. It can't get her soon enough...I know I'll rue the day I wrote that line. Sitting thru classes, all I can think of is the fact that soon after it's all done, I'll be a mommy. Not only that, the chair/desks don't have a lot of room for me & my Paris-tummy.
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( 9:24 AM )
brooke digs paris
Thanks to Brooke for the award.
Now Paris is well on her/his way to being just like her/his mama. Gathering the awards early, that's my baby. Hopefully Paris will live up to the honor of being the "best future activist in blogland".
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( 10:06 AM )
My mom has had a rough few years.
First my dad got transferred to North Carolina, far away from family, away from friends, away from me - her baby. It took her a good year to really get over the move. She still harbors some anger, but it's mostly gone. Then she got sick. She had to have her gall bladder removed. It took literally a good month for the doctors to figure it out. Then the docs didn't stitch her up right. She had to have a 2nd surgery to get it right. Finally she recovered. Yeah! It all began about 2 years ago.
Now she's got this thing on her leg. At first the docs say that it was a bad spider bite and she was having a reaction to the poison. After getting nowhere for a few months, mom finally went to see the 'real doctors' at Duke Med. The nurses & docs looked at it and said no spider did that.
Their diagnosis is an infarction. Basically a small blood vessel burst and infected the area. So she's at home trying to heal. I talked to her today and she sounds terrible. Not so much cause of the injury, but because of her leg, she can't travel. No travel means she can't come & dote on her eldest daughter carrying her first grandbaby. Our goal is for her to get up here in May. Althou, I did tell her that perhaps in March she'll feel better. I dunno. I just hope she gets better so she can get back to doing what she wants to do.
I never realized it was going to be this hard being pregnant & so far from my mom. I also never imagined that she'd be unable to travel. Maybe this will spur her to take care of herself better. As I tell her, she's gonna be a grandma - she's gotta be here.
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( 4:29 PM )
Well the midwife just called. Seems that I'm having a 24/7 allergic reaction to something. So she's putting me on Beclovent. Yeah! Even before getting pregnant, I haven't been happy with being on so many drugs. I'm even more so. But if it's what she needs me to do to make sure lil Paris is ok, then I guess I have to do it. Damn.
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( 10:19 AM )
Cause every fetus deserves a slogan:
* Sometimes You Feel Like a Paris, Sometimes You Don't.
* Central Heating for Paris.
* Got Paris?
Thanks to Tracy for the link.
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( 1:08 PM )
Cinnamon is the bestest auntie-to-be. She's already picked out a bunch of fabric so she can make some crib sheets for lil Paris. Go look at the fabric she picked out! I love the pandas & penguins.
Today we went to the midwife & she played vampire. She stuck me with a needle & sucked and sucked the life force outta me. But I handled it well. She repaid us by letting us hear Paris' heartbeat. Cinnamon said, "I like to think that she's carrying a little activist who is trying to gather Roni's organs together to create a union." I think she may be right. Paris was moving like the 2-year-old we saw in the waiting room. My midwife had to track Paris down so we could hear the heartbeat. Yes, it was touching. I can't stop thinking of it. The hubby does a great impression of it. He kept his cool until we got in the elevator. Then he got all giddy. I'm just happy that things are going well.
I'm still amazed at how supportive & loving everyone has been about this baby. It really surprised me. I guess cause my folks & sisters are so far away and the family I do have here are basically worthless (not counting the in-laws), I imagined us doing this basically on our own. Now I know differently. We truly have a famiy that we weren't born with. One that we created over the years.
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( 11:29 AM )
So my MIL called last night and told the hubby that she almost bought a crib set. Then she stopped and thought, hmmm...maybe Roni should buy it since it is her baby. Um, yeah? I love her and she's been great. I know that she'll buy the lil bugger whatever it wants and needs. I'm damn happy to let her & my mom buy everything. I just wanna pick it out.
2 more days until the next midwife appointment. Can't wait. My midwife is always fun to see. She's a riot.
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( 11:13 AM )
Here are some of my fave quotes from Hipmama, so far:
"Being pregnant is more like coming down wtih a case of malaria or intestinal worms." (p. 18)
"My point is that you can talk to people who are of two minds about the whole "family values debate," and you might have an impact. But the ultra-conservative strict-father types are a different story. They just might be hopeless." (p. 149) Summing up her debate with Newt Gingrich.
"Feel free to rage at your partner and later deny any memory of the event." (p. 49)
"Teach your children about boycotts and observe them." (p. 150)
I think after I finish reading this baby, I'll start all over. Ariel's wit is just too good - she can't be human. Then I read about her & her daughter & I know she's human.
I highly recommend this book - even if you just read the section on her debate with Newt. It really gave me a view of on-air debates that I wouldn't have had before. And those are important to me since I plan on having lots of on-air debates in my future. I came thisclose to being on Hannity & Colmes. Thank the goddess someone else did it.
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( 11:54 AM )
I have to wonder about anyone who writes, "Why spend four expensive years preparing for your supposedly brilliant career if you weren’t going to put the kids where God and feminism intended them: in daycare?" What kind of feminists is she hanging around with anyway? Can I make her my friend?
I've never encountered a feminist who thought that kids were intended for daycare. The feminists I find allow that to be an option. The other option is for one of the parents to stay home or leave the kids with a relative. *shaking head*
The sacrifice of having children is really pissing me off. Yeah, I know that in 7 months I'll have a lil bugger who I'll die or kill for. But do we all have to become martyrs for our kids too?
"And yet, she says, the adjustment was easier than she’d thought. “With two incomes you tend to spend more; with one, you’re smarter about your money.” Um, hello? You have a kid now, I think we'd all be smarter with our money. It really makes it sound like all we have to do is start clippig coupons, shopping at Sam's, and wearing sweatpants all the time and we're ready to be SAHMs.
That's another thing. While I think I'd be ok with becoming a SAHM, I'll freely admit that I'm vain. I do *not* want to become that frumpy SAHM who wears nothing but sweats all day, rarely gets her hair done, and just starts to even question the need for a shower each day. Believe me, I know a few of them. I also know one really kewl SAHM who raises a beautiful lil girl and takes classes at a local university. I don't think her style needs more than jeans & a t-shirt, but she's always put together when I see her.
SAHM's are like to goddesses to me. I really can't see myself being able to survive 24/7 with my child. If it came down to me staying home, I'd have to have a part-time job. And not just one at the bowling alley. I know there are some good part-time jobs out there where I can really make things happen. Heck, even being a receptionist at a local non-profit would be fine with me. Just as long as I got out, on my own, and was doing something for myself.
If all of that is selfish, fine. I'm selfish. But I want to raise my kid, boy or girl, to know that being a parent does not have to be the be-all of life. The be-all of life is being in a family and loving it. To create your own family and community and have fun with it.
So don't let so-called experts tell you that you have to do this or that. Do what is good for you, your partner, your family. I have to believe that's the key to happiness. Why else would I be so happy now?
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( 10:36 AM )
When we first started to plan for this pregnancy, I read a lot on what to expect during my 9-month stint as an incubator. One thing that I kept running into was that later in the pregnancy, I'd have trouble sleeping. Well, duh! Anyone would have trouble sleeping with a basketball under her shirt.
The secret is that it starts waaaaay before that. For the past month, I've had a terrible time falling asleep. It takes me up to 30 minutes to fall asleep. And as anyone whose ever shared a room with me can attest, I'm a fast sleeper. My main problem is that I sleep semi-belly style. Kinda half on my side & half on my belly. That position is slowly losing its comfort and lying on my back isn't the best position for later in the pregnancy, so I'd rather not get in the habit.
Somehow I think it's an evil plan by the goddess to get me ready for nights of waking up to feed the baby.
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( 11:10 AM )
Trying to use the comments from the other blog here. Let's see if it works or not.
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( 10:03 AM )
Poor hubby.
I don't know what he was expecting, but last night after work, I went to put our name on the waiting list at a local daycare center. I knew it would be expensive - they have a good rep and after seeing the facilities, good stuff & people working there. It's also in the heart of one of the big yuppified areas. This daycare center wasn't built for us lil folks in mind.
So I call him to tell him how much it'll be. He is just stunned. Can't say a word. Let's say that it would be about 2/3 of my take-home pay. *shrug* When I get home, he's on the couch still in shock. He's doing all this math in his head. Poor baby.
Of course we go thru the whole, well I can stay home (he makes more & has better benefits). Nope...need that 1/3 of a paycheck. OK, I work part-time. Doesn't work either. Then he starts to curse our white-collar living.
Our folks were able to do it all because they could switch shifts if child care was a problem, they could work a few double shifts if they needed the money, etc, etc. Our lives of working in an office screwing around on the net isn't gonna bring home any extra bux. It's too funny.
Well I'm just of the notion that it's just the beginning. We'll keep looking. Maybe find something a little less expensive. But I don't want to skimp on quality either. Ah...parenthood.
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( 1:50 PM )
I have to learn not to listen to people so much! It's hard cause I'm doing this mommy thing for the first time & I want to know it all! I want to hear the horror stories, I want to hear about the moments that break your heart, I want to hear about the times when you just couldn't stop staring at your lil baby. It's hard.
Now that we've "finally" gotten pregnant, I have a small, but vocal line of SAHM's ready to beat me into SAHM-submission. "You know, when you let someone else raise them, they turn into that person, rather than you." *sigh*
Well first off, I'm not looking to replicate myself. If I had wanted that, I would have fucking cloned myself. I am looking to try to raise a child with my ethics & morals. I mean, the lil bugger doesn't have to play 3rd base. Short-stop would be just fine with me. *grin*
So the day-care search is on. I think today I'll stop by a place and put our name on the waiting list, no matter who expensive it may be. (OK, maybe not if it's like $5K a month.) I know paying someone to watch my lil one for the first year will be expensive. If I could, I would stay home - part-time. Who knows what life will throw me. My mom stayed home with me most of the time. There was a small bit of time when I was sent to live with my aunt (a month) when I was about 9 months old. Mom had to set up our new home at the Army base my dad was stationed at. My baby sis had a nanny for her first 3 years of life. Her nanny was our cousin, who was only 18 when she started. Baby sis turned out just fine. In fact, the nephew has been in day care since he was a few months old. You know what? No one, NO ONE in the family would have done it differently.
1) His mother was (and IMO, still not) ready to be a real mother to him.
2) My in-laws were not going to give up one income.
3) He LEARNED to read at day care. He was so ready for school when he started last year.
4) He's far more like his uncle (the hubby) than anyone else in the world. And he gets to see the hubby only a few times a month.
And to think that this idiot blamed her fuck-ups on being a mom. Thanks. Makes me feel real good about becoming a working(outside-the-home)-mom. Glad to see we've got good role models out there. *sheesh*
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( 12:30 PM )
Despite the fact that we are totally stumped on which crib to get, I think I'm sold on this crib set. I was thinking of having a Poohbear theme, but when I saw the dolphin set, I fell in love. It isn't too girly for a boy is it?
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( 10:02 AM )
I had a dream last night that I had the baby. On a big board I saw the name & time of birth. I'm not the most psychic person in my family, mind you. But while in the kitchen, I told the hubby that I thought we'd have a boy and he said that he had a dream last night that it would be a boy as well.
In his dream, we were holding the lil one and friends were asking us if we were happy with a boy. We squinted and said, yes - a bit disappointed, but we'll just have to try for our lil girl.
Just in case you're wondering. Our lil boy was born at 1 pm (no date) and names Nicholas Alexander. That's a name that the hubby thought up just last night too. So maybe it was just our minds playing with our remaining joy on picking another name. *shrug* I guess we'll see.
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